Jokes of the day:
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I have a date this weekend with a girl who has a shoe fetish... But I'm a little worried about getting off on the wrong foot.
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What do you get if you cross a lamp with a violin? A: You get light music.
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Why is a bear brown? Because he crawls in his hole during winter.
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Cell phones make it easy to communicate with everybody except the people you're currently with.
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I woke up suddenly terrified I'm late for work... I opened my eyes and chilled - I'm at work.
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I went to the hairdresser and she asked how I'd like my hair cut. In silence.
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If you want an adrenaline rush, you should go camping... It's in tents.
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If you love someone, let them go. If they come back, it's because no one else wanted them.
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What did the dog say after a hard day at work ? Today sure was ruff
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How many letters are in the alphabet during the Christmas Season? Only 25...because there's Noel.
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Why is divorce so expensive? Because it is worth it..
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When is the most likely time that a stray dog will walk into your house ? When the door is open!
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Books
Free fun games
Free app/game: Cat Run
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When someone asks me if I'm busy, it always sounds like a trick question.
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Shoes
Free fun games
Free app/game: Fun Photo Booth
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I was on diet for a month and all I lost was 30 days...
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What do you call a witch that goes to the beach? Sandwitch
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How do you make a dog go "meow"? Take it out of the freezer and run it through a bandsaw.
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Shoes
Free fun games
Free app/game: Super Hero Cat Run
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Why do divers fall backwards from boats? Because if they fell forward they'd still be in it!
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What does a pirate wear if he works at Apple? iPatch
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Why do women live longer than men? They're not married to women.
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A man goes to the doctor, and says "I broke my arm in three places." And the doctor says, "Well then don't go to those places anymore."
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Dad: what did you learn at school today, son? Son: apparently not enough, I have to go back tomorrow.
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Did you hear about the Wall Street investment banker who won $10 million in the lottery? He's so happy that he's giving some serious thought to paying back his student loan.
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What did the strawberry say on December 25th? Berry Christmas!
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Have you heard the joke about the corrupt government? [Content Removed]
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Why doesn't a sociologist look out the window in the morning? Because then they'd have nothing to do in the afternoon.
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If I make you breakfast in bed. A simple "Thank you" is all I need! Not all this "How did you get in my house?" business!
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My favorite element is Helium. I can't speak highly enough of it.
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What do you call two women standing side by side? Four abreast!
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If life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, then lets get wasted and have the time of our lives.
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Nothing freaks me out like when I'm ordering from a Chinese restaurant and I ask "What kind of meat is that?" and they answer "yes".
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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.
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I heard a guy at the beach screaming, "HELP! SHARK! HELP!" I just laughed. I knew that Shark wasn't going to help him.
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Life is like a box of chocolates... the fatter you are, the shorter it lasts!
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Interesting products
Free fun games
Free app/game: Talking Donald Donkey
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A guy goes to the doctor... He says, "Doc, every time I drink coffee I feel a sharp pain in my right eye." The doctor asks, "Did you take out the spoon?"
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Fashion
Free fun games
Free app/game: Cat Run
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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting injected with tetanus.
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What has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.
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It's so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.
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John regrets getting a brain transplant. I guess he changed his mind.
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Why do people hesitate before registering as an organ donor? It takes guts.
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Policeman: Why didn't you obey that stop sign? Driver: I don't believe everything I read.
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Animal testing is pointless. We already know they're animals.
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Jewelery
Free fun games
Free app/game: Monster Truck Racing
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Why is George Bush in bed every night by 9:10? Because nothing good happens after 9:11.
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Shoes
Free fun games
Free app/game: Talking Donald Donkey
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I have finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side, there's nothing right, and on the right side, there's nothing left..
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The ATM told me, "Not enough funds in account," when I tried to withdraw. This ATM needs a bigger account.
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My friend David lost his ID the other day. Now we just call him Dav.
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What do you call a bus full of lawyers driving of a cliff? A shame. What do you call an empty seat? A damn shame.
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Doctor: "You're obese." Patient: "Whoa, for that I definitely want a second opinion." Doctor: "You're quite ugly, too."
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How do you know carrots improve your vision? Cause you've never seen any bunnies with glasses
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If two lawyers were drowning and you could only save one of them would you read the paper or go to lunch?
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Nothing makes me worry more than the kids saying "Don't worry, we cleaned it up"