What did one snowman say to the other snowman? I smell carrots too.

What do you call a snake that is trying to become a bird ? A feather boa!

More pictures and rate this joke

Two Flies Are Sitting On a Piece of Shit. The first fly farts. The other gives him a disgusted look and says, "Come on man! I'm eating here!"

More pictures and rate this joke

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but the lightbulb has to want to change.

More pictures and rate this joke

Somebody asks: "How long does it take to fly to Boston?" The clerk said "Just a minute..." "Thank you" the man said and hung up.

More pictures and rate this joke

Teacher : In the exam you will be allowed 30 minutes for each question. Pupil: How long for the answer sir?

More pictures and rate this joke

Dear Algebra, please stop asking us to find your x. She is not coming back.

More pictures and rate this joke

What is Tiger Woods favorite course? The intercourse.

More pictures and rate this joke

Why can't the T-rex clap its hands? Because it's dead.

More pictures and rate this joke

What does a pirate wear if he works at Apple? iPatch

More pictures and rate this joke

German tourist crosses Polish border. Border guards ask him: Name? Hans. Surname? Schmidt. Occupation? No, just traveling.

More pictures and rate this joke

What's the difference between a sumo and a feminist? A sumo shaves their legs.

More pictures and rate this joke

What do you get the man who has everything? Antibiotics

More pictures and rate this joke

What goes cackle cackle boom? A witch in a minefield.

More pictures and rate this joke

Why did God create Adam before Eve? To give him a chance to say something.

More pictures and rate this joke

What do you say to the banjo player in the three piece suit? A: Will the defendant please rise.

More pictures and rate this joke

Why did the creepy hipster get arrested? Because he was following people before Instagram.

More pictures and rate this joke

What does a bee say before it stings you? This is going to hurt me a lot more than it hurts you!

More pictures and rate this joke

What do you call a bicycle with no seat? A real pain in the ass.

More pictures and rate this joke

What do I know about dwarves? Very little.

More pictures and rate this joke

What's the definition of mixed emotions? When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your brand new car.

More pictures and rate this joke

Michael Phelps just won another gold medal for taking the quickest bath.

More pictures and rate this joke

Last night I walked into a bar - it still hurts...

More pictures and rate this joke

How come anteaters never get sick? Because they're full of antibodies!

More pictures and rate this joke

Why don't women fart? They can't shut up long enough to build up pressure.

More pictures and rate this joke

It's time to clean the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside...

More pictures and rate this joke

Why do hurricanes travel so fast? Because if they travelled slowly we'd have to call them slow-i-canes.

More pictures and rate this joke

I just found bacteria growing on my chocolate bar. I guess there is life on Mars after all.

More pictures and rate this joke

Want to read a joke about pizza? Never-mind, it's too cheesy!

More pictures and rate this joke

Why don't penguins ever get married? They always get cold feet!

More pictures and rate this joke

What does a parent say to their boy who keeps missing the toilet? Urine trouble.

More pictures and rate this joke