What bus crossed the Atlantic Ocean? Columbus

My ex is looking for a job but I don't think satan is retiring anytime soon so I suppose she'll be unemployed for a while.

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What was Dr Frankenstein's second job? He was a body-builder.

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What many don't know, "Riverdance" was invented while waiting in line at the ladies toilet.

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My dad is really good at playing hide n' seek! It's been 12 years since we started and I still haven't found him!

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My standards are so high they just recorded a reggae song.

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Guys socialize by making fun of each other, but they don't mean it. Girls socialize by giving compliments to each other but they don't mean it either.

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A helicopter crashed on a graveyard. Reports says over 500 dead...

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Why don't girls have beards? It's in their jeans...

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A man goes to the doctor, and says "I broke my arm in three places." And the doctor says, "Well then don't go to those places anymore."

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I've found the perfect weight-loss system for Americans. Convert to the metric system and lose half your weight in just seconds.

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How do you know carrots improve your vision? Cause you've never seen any bunnies with glasses

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I like my coffee like I like my woman. Cold and bitter.

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Ive been eating eggs thinking they came from an egg plant. Im going to be sick, now that I know where they really come from.

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What did the salad wearing a tuxedo say? "I feel a bit overdressed."

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Why did they make the toilet paper so hard in North Korea? Because the Party wants to make every asshole Red.

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German tourist crosses Polish border. Border guards ask him: Name? Hans. Surname? Schmidt. Occupation? No, just traveling.

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Want to hear a cheesy joke? I will only tell it if I have your Parmesan...

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My uncle, as an oncologist - has a great sense of tumor.

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I would tell you another chemistry joke... But all the best ones Argon.

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"What is 5Q + 5Q?" The class responds: "10Q." The teacher responds: "You're welcome"

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So there was a stork carrying an old man and the old man turns to it and says: "Would you at last admit it that we are lost?"

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Whoever said the camera adds 10 pounds should stop eating cameras.

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Have you guys seen the movie called "Constipation"? No? That's cuz it hasn't come out yet...

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My grandfather got new pants the other day. I asked him how they fit... He said "Like a cheap castle." Seeing the confused look on my face, he elaborated, saying, "No ball room."

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I'm dating an x-ray technician... But I don't know what she sees in me.

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How do you know when Santa Claus is nearby ? You can feel his presents ...

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I'm currently boycotting any company that sells items I can't afford.

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Why are you late? Student: Because of the sign on the road. Teacher: What type of sign? Student: The sign that says, School Ahead, Go Slow.

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Do you know why god created leprosy? He needed someone to lend him a hand!

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What do you say when you find two banana peels together? Answer: A pair of slipper

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