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My dad is really good at playing hide n' seek! It's been 12 years since we started and I still haven't found him!
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Did you hear about the Chinese Chef who broke out of jail? Apparently he went out for a wok and never came back.
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A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much it is for a beer. The bartender says ; "For you.. No charge!"
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During my prostate exam I asked the doctor, "where should I put my pants?" "Over there by mine" was not the answer I was expecting.
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Who sell the products cheaper, a manufacturer or a distributor? The store guard!
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My lighter has two settings: 1: Spark, spark, spark 2: No left eyebrow
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Which is faster, hot or cold? Hot is faster. Anyone can catch a cold.
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They installed a new machine at my gym today, I managed to do 2 hours on it. They do all sorts. Snickers, Kit-kats, Mars bars, etc.
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What did the mother turkey say to her naughty son? If your dad knew how you were acting he'd roll over in his gravy!
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"Doctor. Doctor I keep thinking I'm a woodworm." "How boring for you!"
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What should you give a man who has everything? A woman to show him how to work it.
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How is a judge like an English teacher? They both hand out long sentences.
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Do you know why god created leprosy? He needed someone to lend him a hand!
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Wife: "What's that beeping?" Me: "Fasten seatbelt alarm." Wife: "How can you ignore something so annoying?" Me: "Huh?"
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A man goes to the doctor, and says "I broke my arm in three places." And the doctor says, "Well then don't go to those places anymore."
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