Zombie Jokes
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What was Dr Frankenstein's second job? He was a body-builder.
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Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers? No, they eat the fingers separately.
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What kind of bees eat brains? Zombees
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Why did the zombie not eat your brain? Because he doesn't eat junk food.
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You can tell a lot about a person by the type of car they drive. For example, if they drive a Taxi, they're probably a cab driver.
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"Which machine at the gym should I use to impress beautiful women?" "The ATM machine"
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If you love someone, let them go. If they come back, it's because no one else wanted them.
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I gave her my heart but what she really needed was kidney transplant...
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Three kids are in an agruement about who's dad is better. "My dad's a fireman" said Billy. "My dad's a marine!" said Johnny. "My dad's invisible." said Brian.
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What is green, red and goes 90 miles per hour? A frog in a blender.
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The first time I used an elevator it was really uplifting. Then it brought me down.
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I wondered why the train was getting bigger... then it hit me
Shoes
Top Games
Free app/game: Mini Golf Fun
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What's the difference between Rihanna and Britney Spears? Britney asked to be hit one more time..
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I've found the perfect weight-loss system for Americans. Convert to the metric system and lose half your weight in just seconds.
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If you could choose between world peace and $100,000,000, what color would you choose for your Ferrari?
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What's a mixed feeling? When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
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Why are there so many female archeologists? Because women love digging up the past.
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How come anteaters never get sick? Because they're full of antibodies!
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When my pet goldfish died my parents thought it would be a great idea to replace it with a hamster... Poor little guy drowned in seconds..
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The phrase "you two deserve each other" sounds like a compliment, but never is.
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Who ate all the cookies? 5-year-old: Ninjas. Me: I didn't see them. 5-year-old: No one ever does. Checkmate.
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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting injected with tetanus.
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Why married guys are fat: A single guy opens the fridge, sees nothing interesting there - he goes to bed. A married guy goes in the bedroom, sees nothing interesting there - he goes to the fridge.
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What's the difference between life and wife's rant? Life eventually ends.
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