Politics Jokes
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Why did they make the toilet paper so hard in North Korea? Because the Party wants to make every asshole Red.
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Why was the Berlin Wall torn down? It didn't match with the Iron Curtains.
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It's so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.
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People tend to make rules for others and exceptions for themselves.
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Which duck will destroy the establishment? None, ducks are not allowed in politics.
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A very tough question to answer If con is the opposite of pro, then isn't Congress the opposite of progress?
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Why is George Bush in bed every night by 9:10? Because nothing good happens after 9:11.
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Free app/game: Air Hockey
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I don't think it's rude to ask someone in an online dating site to send a picture posing with a copy of today's newspaper.
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The phrase "you two deserve each other" sounds like a compliment, but never is.
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How do you know carrots improve your vision? Cause you've never seen any bunnies with glasses
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Why couldn't the restaurant patron get into his car? He had Gnocchi.
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I've decided to start my own herb garden. I've got a lot of extra Thyme.
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I'm only leaving the house today so my selfies will have new backgrounds.
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I think it's pretty cool Chinese people made a language made entirely out of tattoos.
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I win most of my staring contests... ... because my opponents usually don't know they're playing.
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Hendrix didn't need to twerk on stage. He performed the old fashioned way, relying only on his musical talents and near lethal doses of LSD.
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Want to hear a cheesy joke? I will only tell it if I have your Parmesan...
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I was trying to form a club for eunuchs at my high school... But there weren't enough members.
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Life is about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen.
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I sure do feel a whole lot more attractive at Walmart than I do at the gym.
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Why are old balloons cheaper than new balloons? Because of inflation
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Life is all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen.
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What's the difference between life and wife's rant? Life eventually ends.
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There's a reason why "sober" and "so bored" sound almost exactly the same.
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In the near future, little old ladies won't know how to sew, knit, or quilt, but they'll take awesome self-pics in bathroom mirrors.
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Freak people out in public restrooms by saying "come in" when they knock on the stall door
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Instead of "Who's your daddy?" I accidentally said "How's your daddy?" and we put our clothes back on and discussed her father's cholesterol
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