Physics Jokes
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A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much it is for a beer. The bartender says ; "For you.. No charge!"
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A man goes to the doctor, and says "I broke my arm in three places." And the doctor says, "Well then don't go to those places anymore."
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A man walks into a bar... ...and loses the international limbo championship.
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Why do divers fall backwards from boats? Because if they fell forward they'd still be in it!
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My diet plan consists of getting a full body tattoo of some skinny dude.
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RIP hacker who was spying on me through my Laptop's camera. Died of boredom.
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Do you know what my grandmother would be doing today if she was alive? Scratching at her coffin.
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Why can't the wive find her asshole? He's on the job.
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Why did they make the toilet paper so hard in North Korea? Because the Party wants to make every asshole Red.
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It's so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.
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I heard a guy at the beach screaming, "HELP! SHARK! HELP!" I just laughed. I knew that Shark wasn't going to help him.
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What's better than winning the lottery? Winning it the day after your divorce comes through.
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The phrase "you two deserve each other" sounds like a compliment, but never is.
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I don't understand people who practice polygamy. Why would anyone want more than one mother-in-law?
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A group of people were yelling at me in the movie theater. It got so loud I had to take my phone call outside.
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A new study has proven that people who have more birthdays live longer.
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Always remember that you're someone's reason to smile.. Because you are a joke.
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Who sell the products cheaper, a manufacturer or a distributor? The store guard!
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Michael Phelps just won another gold medal for taking the quickest bath.
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Not sure if I actually like movies or just like looking at something while I eat popcorn.
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If money doesn't buy happiness.. then explain why you have to pay for a divorce.
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My sister wanted to marry a man clever enough to make a lot of money but dumb enough to spend it on her!
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