Kids Jokes
-
-
Who ate all the cookies? 5-year-old: Ninjas. Me: I didn't see them. 5-year-old: No one ever does. Checkmate.
-
-
Nothing makes me worry more than the kids saying "Don't worry, we cleaned it up"
More funny jokes:
-
-
Where did I get my scarf? It's a CVS receipt. You love it? Oh thank you very much.
More pictures and rate this joke
-
-
Life is about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen.
More pictures and rate this joke
-
-
I was trying to form a club for eunuchs at my high school... But there weren't enough members.
More pictures and rate this joke
-
-
I lost 40 Pounds in 4 months! I didn't realize the British stock market was so volatile.
More pictures and rate this joke
-
-
-
-
"Which machine at the gym should I use to impress beautiful women?" "The ATM machine"
More pictures and rate this joke
-
-
Be nice to people on your way up so they won't get suspicious when you're rich and you invite them to your island to hunt them for sport.
More pictures and rate this joke
-
-
What's the difference between life and wife's rant? Life eventually ends.
More pictures and rate this joke
-
-
-
Where do werewolves stay when they're on vacation? At the Howliday Inn!
More pictures and rate this joke
-
-
Which is faster, hot or cold? Hot is faster. Anyone can catch a cold.
More pictures and rate this joke
-
-
The only wisdom that comes with age is knowing which stores have the nicer restrooms.
More pictures and rate this joke
-
-
The personal trainer at the gym advised me to try some resistance training. So far it's going really well. I've resisted going to the gym for six days now.
More pictures and rate this joke
-
-
-
Sometimes I feel like a doctor stuck studying X-rays to gauge the health impacts of excessive sausage eating. I tend to see the wurst in people.
More pictures and rate this joke
-
-
Unless you fell off the treadmill and smashed your face, nobody wants to hear about your workout.
More pictures and rate this joke
-
-
Two Flies Are Sitting On a Piece of Shit. The first fly farts. The other gives him a disgusted look and says, "Come on man! I'm eating here!"
More pictures and rate this joke
-
-
Did you hear about the nation's best farmer? He's out standing in his field.
More pictures and rate this joke
-
-
If I ever need a heart transplant, I'd want my ex's. It's never been used.
More pictures and rate this joke
-
-
-
I'm not one to give parenting advice, but kids are a lot less likely to fight you on eating dinner if you don't give them lunch or breakfast.
More pictures and rate this joke
-
-
-
Sorry to inform you that you have a brain problem. Your brain is in 2 parts... Left and right. The left part has nothing right in it, and the right has nothing left in it.
More pictures and rate this joke
-
-
Some people prefer to put the thermometer in their mouth, while others prefer it in their rectum. It's a matter of taste!
More pictures and rate this joke
-
-
How is a judge like an English teacher? They both hand out long sentences.
More pictures and rate this joke
-
-
-
Why did they make the toilet paper so hard in North Korea? Because the Party wants to make every asshole Red.
More pictures and rate this joke
-
-
I win most of my staring contests... ... because my opponents usually don't know they're playing.
More pictures and rate this joke
-
-
People always ask, would you rather be right or happy? I have always found I'm happiest when I'm right!
More pictures and rate this joke