Diet Jokes
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I get the whole 3 meals a day thing but I'm confused about how many at night?
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Me: I'm gonna lose weight. Me: I'm gonna exercise every day. Me: I'm gonna go on a diet and stick to it. Me: Is that cake?
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I was on diet for a month and all I lost was 30 days...
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My diet plan consists of getting a full body tattoo of some skinny dude.
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Ran my first 10k this morning. I'm kidding, I'm on my second Milky Way.
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What happened to your three week diet? I finished it in three days!
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I've found the perfect weight-loss system for Americans. Convert to the metric system and lose half your weight in just seconds.
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It's time to clean the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside...
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What do you take before every meal? A seat.
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How long do I have to lay on the couch in the same position before I can call it "yoga"?