Cowboy Jokes
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A cowboy rides into town on Friday, stays three days and leaves on Friday. How does he do it? The horses name is Friday.
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What's the secret to a long life? Never order vegetarian in Texas...
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A good book is like a good puppy. Both are easy to pick up but hard to put down.
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I once fell in love with an English Teacher.... ...I wrote her a love letter and she corrected it.
Toys
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Free app/game: Warp My Talking Face
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Why don't women fart? They can't shut up long enough to build up pressure.
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Teacher: If I had ten flies on my desk and I swatted one how many flies would be left? Girl: One - the dead one!
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Boy, do I love soccer It's the only sport where the fans are tougher then the players.
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My mother always told me: "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." And some people wonder why I'm so quiet around them.
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Waitress: "Do u have any questions about the menu?" Me: "What kind of font is this?"
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What do you get if you cross a computer with a hamburger? A big mac.
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What do you say to the banjo player in the three piece suit? A: Will the defendant please rise.
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What did the diver say to the oyster? I want that pearl! Don't be shellfish!
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People always ask, would you rather be right or happy? I have always found I'm happiest when I'm right!
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So I'm reading that "twerking" and "selfie" have been added to the dictionary. "Future" and "optimism" have been removed...
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Which is faster, hot or cold? Hot is faster. Anyone can catch a cold.
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Teacher: This note from your father looks like your handwriting ? Pupil: Well yes he borrowed my pen!
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Doctor: "You're obese." Patient: "Whoa, for that I definitely want a second opinion." Doctor: "You're quite ugly, too."
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How come anteaters never get sick? Because they're full of antibodies!
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When someone tells you to expect the unexpected, slap them and ask if they expected it!
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Q2: What kind of materials do dinosaurs use for the floor of their homes? Rep Tiles
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