Computer Jokes
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Just recently sold all my dead batteries free of charge
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What has everyone been doing at Apple since the problems with the latest iPhone started? Looking for Jobs.
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Why did the programmer get a job at the photographers? They needed a developer.
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RIP hacker who was spying on me through my Laptop's camera. Died of boredom.
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What do you get if you cross a computer with a hamburger? A big mac.
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Waitress: "Do u have any questions about the menu?" Me: "What kind of font is this?"
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Whoever stole my Microsoft Office, I'm coming after you... You have my word
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What's a mixed feeling? When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
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Her: Give me a chat up line? Me: Uh ok, are you a zookeeper? Her: *laughs* Because I'm so captivating? Me: No, you smell like an animal.
Beauty
Top Games
Free app/game: Talking Donald Donkey
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I'll never forget what my grandfather said to me right before he kicked the bucket. "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"
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I would tell you another chemistry joke... But all the best ones Argon.
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What's the difference between Rihanna and Britney Spears? Britney asked to be hit one more time..
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There's a reason why "sober" and "so bored" sound almost exactly the same.
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I know a guy who survived an 8000-foot fall out of a plane. Until he hit the ground.
Fashion
Top Games
Free app/game: Talking Donald Donkey
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Why are you late? Student: Because of the sign on the road. Teacher: What type of sign? Student: The sign that says, School Ahead, Go Slow.
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My old best friend ran off years ago to pursue his dream of becoming a mime... I haven't heard from him since.
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My psychiatrist told me I need to love myself more. I was like, "damn doc I'm already up to 3 times a day"
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What do elephants in the zoo get for lunch? Half an hour, just like the rest of the animals.
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I've found the perfect weight-loss system for Americans. Convert to the metric system and lose half your weight in just seconds.
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What is love? The energy of life. What is marriage? The energy bill ...
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A cowboy rides into town on Friday, stays three days and leaves on Friday. How does he do it? The horses name is Friday.
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There's one thing I've learned after my son got hit in the face with dog excrement. I'm rather good at golf.
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People always ask, would you rather be right or happy? I have always found I'm happiest when I'm right!
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They installed a new machine at my gym today, I managed to do 2 hours on it. They do all sorts. Snickers, Kit-kats, Mars bars, etc.
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There needs to be a third option because getting older or dying aren't working for me.
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Why don't women fart? They can't shut up long enough to build up pressure.
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