Clever Jokes
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Two ladies fighting for a seat in a bus... Bus conductor: "The older one should sit here". Both looked at each other and the seat remained empty...
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Me: I'm gonna lose weight. Me: I'm gonna exercise every day. Me: I'm gonna go on a diet and stick to it. Me: Is that cake?
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Doctor, Doctor, everyone keeps throwing me in the garbage. Don't talk rubbish!
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What do you call a blood vessel with a carrot jammed into it? A carroted artery.
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Two baloons meet each other in a garden shop... The first one says to the other: Don't go that way, there's a cactusssssss
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When my pet goldfish died my parents thought it would be a great idea to replace it with a hamster... Poor little guy drowned in seconds..
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Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers? No, they eat the fingers separately.
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What do you call a bus full of lawyers driving of a cliff? A shame. What do you call an empty seat? A damn shame.
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Always Pay Attention! After my Prostate Exam, the Doctor left. Then the Nurse came in. As she shut the door, she whispered the three words that no man wants to hear: "Who was that?"
Shoes
Top Games
Free app/game: Super Hero Cat Run
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What's the definition of mixed emotions? When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your brand new car.
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Cop: "Are you driving under the influence?" Me: "No." Cop: "Say the alphabet backwards." Me: "Tebahpla eht."
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A man goes to the doctor, and says "I broke my arm in three places." And the doctor says, "Well then don't go to those places anymore."
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What's the fastest way to a man's heart? A. Through his chest with a sharp knife.
Beauty
Top Games
Free app/game: Super Hero Cat Run
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My longest relationship was when an Uber driver took me all the way to the airport once.
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If Twitter was invented by a woman, the character limit would be 10,000 characters.
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Honking the whole time isn't going to make everyone in front of you go any faster. Stupid geese.
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Want to hear a corny joke? It's so good, you'd say it was a-maize-ing
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RIP hacker who was spying on me through my Laptop's camera. Died of boredom.
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The cemetery down the street seems like it's a pretty exclusive club. People are dying to get in...
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Unless you fell off the treadmill and smashed your face, nobody wants to hear about your workout.
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People are mad because MTV doesn't show music videos. What about Fox News? They haven't shown a fox in months.
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