Animals Jokes
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What did the diver say to the oyster? I want that pearl! Don't be shellfish!
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How do bees go to school? They take the buzz
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What do you call a bunch of killer whales playing musical instruments? An orca-stra.
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Why can't the T-rex clap its hands? Because it's dead.
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Why do elephants have big flat feet? A: To stomp out burning ducks.
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How does a leopard change its spots? When it gets tired of one spot it just moves to another!
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Why do cow wear bells? Because their horns don't work.
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What animal runs around happily with 5 legs? A pit bull in a kindergarten
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What do elephants in the zoo get for lunch? Half an hour, just like the rest of the animals.
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How do you know carrots improve your vision? Cause you've never seen any bunnies with glasses
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Why isn't there gambling in Africa? Too many cheetahs.
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How can you tell a male dinosaur from a female dinosaur? Ask it a question. If he answers it's a male if she answers it's female.
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What did the snail say when he jumped on the turtle's back? "Wheeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!"
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When is the most likely time that a stray dog will walk into your house ? When the door is open!
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Fashion
Top Games
Free app/game: Talking John Dog
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How come anteaters never get sick? Because they're full of antibodies!
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Why don't penguins ever get married? They always get cold feet!
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What does a bee say before it stings you? This is going to hurt me a lot more than it hurts you!
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Animal testing is pointless. We already know they're animals.
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Books
Top Games
Free app/game: Fart Soundboard
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Why are there no penguins in Britain? They're scared of Wales.
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Why did the sick eagle get deported? Because he was an illeagle.
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What is green, red and goes 90 miles per hour? A frog in a blender.
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My dad has the heart of a lion - and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
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Why did the shark spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny!
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How do you make a dog go "meow"? Take it out of the freezer and run it through a bandsaw.
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Toys
Top Games
Free app/game: Cat Run
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A good book is like a good puppy. Both are easy to pick up but hard to put down.
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Honking the whole time isn't going to make everyone in front of you go any faster. Stupid geese.