Jokes of the day:
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I get the whole 3 meals a day thing but I'm confused about how many at night?
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Did you hear about the nation's best farmer? He's out standing in his field.
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Why can't Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he's married.
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People tend to make rules for others and exceptions for themselves.
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Finally figured out the reason why l look so bad in pictures. It's my face.
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Why do women like men with moustaches? Because they immediately see something about you they can change.
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The personal trainer at the gym advised me to try some resistance training. So far it's going really well. I've resisted going to the gym for six days now.
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If a leopard and a cheetah both had companies, which stock should you buy? The leopard's, because cheetahs never prosper.
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Why married guys are fat: A single guy opens the fridge, sees nothing interesting there - he goes to bed. A married guy goes in the bedroom, sees nothing interesting there - he goes to the fridge.
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A cowboy rides into town on Friday, stays three days and leaves on Friday. How does he do it? The horses name is Friday.
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Teacher : In the exam you will be allowed 30 minutes for each question. Pupil: How long for the answer sir?
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What do you call a swiss priest? A Holy Cheese!
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Tall people don't need to be inspirational Everyone already looks up to them.
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What do you call a fat female assassin? A killer whale.
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I once fell in love with an English Teacher.... ...I wrote her a love letter and she corrected it.
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Interesting products
Free fun games
Free app/game: Warp My Talking Face
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What was Dr Frankenstein's second job? He was a body-builder.
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What has a mouth but no teeth? A river.
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A man goes to the doctor, and says "I broke my arm in three places." And the doctor says, "Well then don't go to those places anymore."
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Why is divorce so expensive? Because it is worth it..
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How can you tell that your waitress is having a bad day? She has a tampon behind her ear and she can't find her pencil.
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My dad has the heart of a lion - and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
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Somebody asks: "How long does it take to fly to Boston?" The clerk said "Just a minute..." "Thank you" the man said and hung up.
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What do tight pants and a cheap hotel have in common? No ballroom.
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Who is there? Police! What do you want? We want to talk. How many of you are there? Two. So talk with each other!
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Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers? No, they eat the fingers separately.
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It's so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.
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If two lawyers were drowning and you could only save one of them would you read the paper or go to lunch?
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I always thought air was free. Until I bought a bag of chips...
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How can you open a banana? With a monkey!
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What do you call a bee with a toe? "Toby"
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If I make you breakfast in bed. A simple "Thank you" is all I need! Not all this "How did you get in my house?" business!
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Want to read a joke about pizza? Never-mind, it's too cheesy!
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What do dogs have that no other animal has? Puppy dogs!
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A new study has proven that people who have more birthdays live longer.
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What should you do if a monster runs through your front door? Run through the back door.
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When is the most likely time that a stray dog will walk into your house ? When the door is open!
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Toys
Free fun games
Free app/game: Fart Soundboard
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What do you get if you cross a computer with a hamburger? A big mac.
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How long do I have to lay on the couch in the same position before I can call it "yoga"?
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A robber walks into a bakery, and pulls out a gun. "Give me the dough!"
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How did I escape Iraq? Iran
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Why should you always take two pairs of trousers when you play golf? In case you get a hole in one!
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How do you think the unthinkable? Run your ship into an iceberg...
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What has everyone been doing at Apple since the problems with the latest iPhone started? Looking for Jobs.
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My favorite quote: "Deep down, every human being just wants to be remembered." anonymous
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Do you know what my grandmother would be doing today if she was alive? Scratching at her coffin.
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Jewelery
Free fun games
Free app/game: Warp My Talking Face
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Want to hear a corny joke? It's so good, you'd say it was a-maize-ing
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What kind of pictures does a mermaid take on her phone? Shelfies.
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Why are you late? Student: Because of the sign on the road. Teacher: What type of sign? Student: The sign that says, School Ahead, Go Slow.
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What do I know about dwarves? Very little.
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Why shouldn't you tell secrets when a clock is around? Because time will tell.