Jokes of the day:

What's better than winning the lottery? Winning it the day after your divorce comes through.

What bus crossed the Atlantic Ocean? Columbus

I don't think it's rude to ask someone in an online dating site to send a picture posing with a copy of today's newspaper.

How do you call a prison inmate? With a cell phone.

There's a reason why "sober" and "so bored" sound almost exactly the same.

Wanna hear a dirty joke? John got dirty. Wanna hear a clean joke? John took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a naughty joke? Bubbles was the girl next door.

Where did I get my scarf? It's a CVS receipt. You love it? Oh thank you very much.

What does the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

What do you get if you cross a computer with a hamburger? A big mac.

What's the difference between a sumo and a feminist? A sumo shaves their legs.

How do bees go to school? They take the buzz

The Flat Earth Community has supporters all around the globe.

Happy Valentines! A little early I know, but l suffer from premature congratulation...

The more complex the handshake, the less complex the individual.

I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.

My favorite Yoga pose is the upward facing couch potato.

What's the best thing about Alzheimer's? You meet new people every day.

Chuck Norris can win a game of chess in only one move... a roundhouse kick to the face.

I have finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side, there's nothing right, and on the right side, there's nothing left..

Want to read a joke about pizza? Never-mind, it's too cheesy!

Wanna hear my joke about the beach? I'm shore you'll like it.

What kind of car does a ghost drive? A boogati!

I was dropping my kids off at school when I saw a sign that said "Watch for Children." I'm going to miss them, but man this is a nice Rolex.

What do you call a bicycle with no seat? A real pain in the ass.

Policeman: Why didn't you obey that stop sign? Driver: I don't believe everything I read.

Sorry to inform you that you have a brain problem. Your brain is in 2 parts... Left and right. The left part has nothing right in it, and the right has nothing left in it.

What is love? The energy of life. What is marriage? The energy bill ...

What does a pirate wear if he works at Apple? iPatch

Why did the bowling pins stop working? They went on strike!

Two ladies fighting for a seat in a bus... Bus conductor: "The older one should sit here". Both looked at each other and the seat remained empty...

Why are there so many female archeologists? Because women love digging up the past.

Why couldn't the restaurant patron get into his car? He had Gnocchi.

Her: Give me a chat up line? Me: Uh ok, are you a zookeeper? Her: *laughs* Because I'm so captivating? Me: No, you smell like an animal.

More pictures and rate this joke



Toys
Free fun games
Free app/game: Monster Truck Racing

Money was so tight last Xmas I had to sell a kidney for gifts. And this year it's getting so bad, I may even have to sell one of my own.

If old people are so wise... How come they always die before everyone else?

When someone asks me if I'm busy, it always sounds like a trick question.

More pictures and rate this joke



Jewelery
Free fun games
Free app/game: Talking Cat Leo

Why do elephants have big flat feet? A: To stomp out burning ducks.

My dad has the heart of a lion - and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

I'm only leaving the house today so my selfies will have new backgrounds.

Pupil: The art teacher doesn't like what I'm making! Dad: What is it what are you making? Pupil: Mistakes!

If I had 5 dollars in one pocket and 5 dollars in the other what do I have? Someone else's pants on.

More pictures and rate this joke



Fashion
Free fun games
Free app/game: Talking Donald Donkey

You hear about the two guys who stole a calendar? They each got six months.

What should you give a man who has everything? A woman to show him how to work it.

Sometimes I feel like a doctor stuck studying X-rays to gauge the health impacts of excessive sausage eating. I tend to see the wurst in people.

Last night I walked into a bar - it still hurts...

This deodorant says: "Avoid contact with eyes." Too late... I've already seen it.

I am writing a book about the history of camping. It's all in past tents.

Always remember that you're someone's reason to smile.. Because you are a joke.

More pictures and rate this joke



Beauty
Free fun games
Free app/game: Unblock Car

I was writing a paper on my grandfather... But had to stop because he was moving so much.

What's the definition of mixed emotions? When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your brand new car.